Tag Archives: Nursing Home

Phone Calls in the Night

So I had just gone to bed last night and took my phone with me as I needed the alarm for the morning (I don’t like taking my phone to the bedroom, and my alarm clock is stuffed so no choice). I get a phone call from a number I recognise but couldn’t place, so I answered. It was the nursing home calling to say that Dad is crying and wants to come home. I just said to her to ring my brother and hung up. My dear brother then had the awkward call with Dad.

The nursing home shouldn’t be calling me for a start, they have instructions to call my brother for anything and everything. And secondly, they shouldn’t be calling us to deal with him when they are there to do a job. They told me they were going to medicate him for this, so medicate him and deal with it. Neither my brother or I are in a position to do anything about his situation. He got himself into this mess because he refused to take better care of himself, and I don’t think he understands that he can’t look after himself. I think we are going to have that horrible conversation with him where he’s going to be “I want to go home!” and we have to say to him that where he is, is his home, he doesn’t have anywhere else to go and can’t take care of himself anyway.

This all might sound harsh, but I am really exhausted with him. At least he can’t “escape” from where he is like he did when he was in respite last year. He was in respite after a stint in hospital and wasn’t able to go home and take care of himself. I was trying to get care in place for him and he just packed up and left, trying to make his way to my place! I can’t take care of him here, and he can’t be left alone as he is unable to take his medication properly, even though they are in Webster Packs. He also can’t control his eating, so he will end up with diabetes again, and because he doesn’t take the medication properly, he will be back in hospital within a week.

He is in the nursing home for his own safety and care. I know he would be hard for them to manage, but they are supposed to be medicating him to help him get through this. We will have a good talk to them when my brother and I go on Saturday morning, and I think I will take my phone number out of his file.

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A Very Busy Week

Wow, what a week! It started last Saturday when I went to visit Dad as I hadn’t been to see him that week due to the norovirus doing the rounds of the ward. I still had to mask up to see him, and I kept sanitising my hands and everything I came in contact with. I even had a contingency plan for when I came home so that I stripped off in the outside laundry and changed into a robe, throw all my clothes in the washing machine, come in the house and hot shower scrubbing head to toe. I sprayed my shoes and my coat with Glen20 to kill any germs that might have lingered on them and left them in the laundry overnight to be sure. Dad was just getting over the virus when I saw him, so he was still quite bedraggled. He got stuck into the cappuccino that I got him, and he tucked into his salad for lunch which I took as a really good sign. I could stay with him long, but he was really happy to have seen me.

On Sunday we did a roast chicken and salad lunch for our dear friend Bernie. It was her birthday this week, and we always like to do lunch for each others birthday. It was good to kick back with a few drinks and chat, because even though she was over just the week before, we still had so much to catch up on. She’s been in our lives for so long we’ve become family. I love her like a sister. I got pretty smashed so I just relaxed after she left and let the boys fend for themselves for dinner, I was still stuffed from lunch.

Monday morning I spoke with my brother and said that I’d googled a list of Nursing Homes for Dad and that I would start checking out all the ones with vacancies between Parramatta and Penrith. I spent the best part of the day on the internet and phone, but the only immediate vacancies were for women, so that was no good for us. I was hopeful with one particular organisation, however it turned out their places were not in suitable places for us… We really want to keep him in between us geographically, so when I found a place at West Ryde, I didn’t even bother, but that was the only male vacancy I found.

I took it easy on Tuesday, just did a few things around the house as Wednesday was the big travel day again. I actually don’t mind the travel, but it really knocks the stuffing out of me. It’s nice and relaxing to sit back and read a book during the journey instead of stressing out in the traffic on a 2 hour drive. I don’t have it in me to do that kind of driving, and my bus and train connections all line up so I get a good “run” both ways. Lisa came and had lunch with Dad and I in the Kiosk and we all had a really good meal and laugh. Dads memory is coming back to him, but you do need to help him fill in the blanks (if you can!). We went back to the reading room to watch the tv after lunch and just chatterbox in general. I gave his toenails and fingernails a trimming this week, they were getting really bad, and I had been meaning to do them for him anyway. Afterall, I have given him a haircut, and I was going to take my nail clippers that week, but I just forgot. Anyway, it’s done now and they’ll be fine for a while now.

While I was visiting Dad, the Social Worker (Ming) called me to tell me of a vacancy for Dad with UnitingCare Mayflower Village, Westmead. She gave me Diedre’s name and phone number and said to give her a call. I couldn’t do it there and then, and was going to do it when I got home, Diedre actually called me while I was sitting at Katoomba station waiting for the train to return home. We made arrangements for me to go and visit the premises on Friday at noon, as I knew Thursday was going to be no good for anything. It all sounded good over the phone, but I was really happy to get a call with a place for him now.

Thursday was a write-off. I got up, dealt with MOTH’s mate, and went back to bed. I was totally exhausted and really needed some good catch-up sleep. I even knocked Amanda back for coffee when she called, and she’s my sis! I felt really slack, but I just felt like shit and was just waiting for his mate to leave so I could go and relax. MOTH was the one who suggested I go back to bed, and I didn’t feel guilty as I had taken Jordy for her walk. I went to bed at about 10am and didn’t get up until 1:40pm. I was still buggered though, and was determined to try making Bolognese sauce. I quickly realised that wasn’t going to happen, so MOTH put everything away for me and he got pork steaks out for dinner and we had them with wedges and jewels. I’m really grateful that he took over, I didn’t think I was going to be able to do anything. Even after dinner he did the cleaning up and took care of everything. I’m blessed to have him.

Today, MOTH came with me to have a tour of Mayflower Village. It was only a half hour drive from our place, less than 20kms. I liked that he would get his own room that comes with a bed and bedside table, and a chair, hopefully. We would need to get the rest of the furnishings for him, but that won’t be too much of a problem. He will have to share the bathroom, but that’s being renovated at the moment, so he will have a nice, new bathroom to use. The dining facilities looked really nice, and the menu options were good. All the food is prepared on site, and will keep him healthy. There are plenty of other residents there, so he’ll never get lonely, and Dad makes friends easy enough, he just doesn’t always share well, which is why his own room is important. Now I’m just waiting on some paperwork from Centrelink, then I well be able to complete his application and have that all done and in in time to secure the room. I think he will be happy there, and I will be able to see him at least twice a week so that is something that I am really looking forward to. We really need to get him out of hospital as soon as possible and into this hostel kind of arrangement.

Anyhoo, that’s enough from me for now. I’m still buggered, and I’ve got more to do. I’m planning housework tomorrow, and a jewellery party later in the day. We’ll just have to see how it all goes. Until next time, tell your loved ones just how much you love them.