Category Archives: Wellbeing

Dear Old Dad….

Well, I slept in until about 8am this morning, and it was wonderful. MOTH came for a walk with Jordy and I, and that was lovely too. MOTH was taking the boy to some motorbike parts suppliers this morning, so I thought it would be perfect to scrub the kitchen floor. Got that finished – it looks awesome – and was making a cup of tea when the boys called me. They had taken my phone with them so they could use navigator as the boys’ phone has no credit, and MOTH has no internet access on his phone. Lucky they did as they went into Liverpool, which they hadn’t planned to do.

My uncle Bruce called my mobile while they were out and the boys called me. My dad had gone completely unconscious and the nursing staff were working on him when I called him straight back. I rang my sister-in-law straight away from the home phone, as her’s was the only mobile number I could think of. I spoke to her and my brother and let them know what was happening and said that I couldn’t contact the hospital as the number Allan had given me was on my mobile, which I didn’t have. They were already on their way to Penrith, so they went straight to the hospital. Just before the boys got home, Bruce had called me back on my mobile and left a message to let me know they had Dad conscious and on a drip, so he was okay for now. Not too long after, about 11.30am, the boys got home and I checked that I had 5 missed calls and 2 text messages, but the boy had spoken to Bruce and was told everything was alright.

Poor Bruce was beside himself, I was really worried about him when I spoke to him. He was really taken aback that this happened while he was there. I had tried to explain to him over the phone that it was really bad and that this might happen, but he freaked when Dad “keeled over and didn’t move”. I did explain the blockages to him and that they may shed, causing stroke, but he wasn’t really expecting it to happen right before his eyes.

I decided, as soon as I found out about Dad when the boys called to tell me Bruce rang, that I was going out to see him today, not wait until tomorrow, as was the original plan. Bruce told me that he was going today, so I thought I would stretch the visiting out and go Sunday, but I was really concerned as to how Dad might be. When I got there, I was really shocked. He can’t communicate, he just looks at you. I was glad to see my brother there when I walked in, his wife and Bruce had gone looking for the kiosk. Dad was just sitting on the side of his bed, his feet on the floor and kind of leaning sideways against the back of the bed with the pillows on it – it had been wound up. He was just vacant. Every now and again he would try to smile at me, but it was a real struggle for him. I tried to get him to turn around and rest back on the bed, maybe get some sleep but I couldn’t seem to get through to him. I even tried to move his legs for him, but being the big bugger that he is, I had no chance.

He spent the entire two hours that I was there sitting like that on the edge of the bed. He had his clothes on over his pyjamas, which I think was going to make his life awkward later on. He is still getting frustrated with himself, apparently trying to get a hanky out of his pocket and only coming out with the lining (which must have felt just like a hanky) and getting really cranky in the process. He wasn’t able to say what he was after, which is really bad. At least his face didn’t seem to be frozen, but he was struggling to show any understanding. As I said before, sometimes he would look at me and smile, but it was hard for him.

I’m really concerned about him, but Allan is going to talk to the vascular surgeon on Monday and get this carotid endarterectomy done as soon as possible. If he’s having strokes like this while he’s in hospital, he needs to be prioritised. Hopefully early in next week, fingers crossed on that one. Dad doesn’t seem to have too much understanding of what is happening to him at the moment, so my brother is making all the decisions that need to be made. I am glad and forever grateful that he has taken charge during this crisis. Hopefully these strokes haven’t done too much permanent damage, and that he will improve once the procedure is done, the sooner the better. I felt awful leaving him there, but I can’t stay all evening, I need to look after my boys and see that they’re fed and loved.

I would love to thank my dear sis Amanda, for all the love and support she is showing through this. She has always been amazing to me, and her love and understanding at this time, while she faces her own problems, has been truly and deeply appreciated. I love you sis, and always will. I thank all of you who have expressed kind thoughts, deepest wishes and prayers for my Dad and my family. All of this is greatly appreciated, and it’s wonderful to see how many of you truly care. I love you all and thank you for being a part of my life.

I don’t plan on going back to the hospital until Tuesday, but if he manages to have surgery on Monday, I may be able to head out there before the traffic gets too bad. I am looking after little man on Monday, and I’m really looking forward to that, as he’s an awesome little dude to spend some time with, and he really enjoys hanging out here. MOTH is taking the boy to the paediatrician on Monday, so I’m really hoping that I don’t need to go to the hospital before Tuesday. Anyhoo, will be thinking as positive as I can, and I know that he is in the best place possible for the time being and is being well cared for, better than anything Allan or I could have done for him.

Thanks for showing an interest and taking the time to read this.

What do I think…. Anonymous postings

I truly believe that if you are going to have a massive spray or give someone a serve, then at least have the courage to do so with your name attached. People who are hiding behind anonymity online ¬†are being absolute tools, or “trolls” as they say now. You couldn’t do this years ago, and now, for some reason, some people have decided to remove all filtering and really let fly. Okay, some of it is stuff that needs to be said, but you used to have to “say” it, not just post it online for all to see. But now it is getting really nasty…

Current events show that although we no longer physically place people in the stocks and throw rotten fruit and veg at them, we certainly do this in a mental sense. I think the anonymity gives more to the herd mentality as well, such as the bigger the group, the worse the attack. I’m really disgusted by what I heard going on on Twitter today regarding Charlotte Dawson and the public attack of her online. She is certainly not my favourite person, and I find her quite irritating, I feel absolutely no need to attack her, and I don’t understand peoples’ need to get so personal.

At the end of the day, if you are going to say something online, at least have the decency to put your identity to it. And if you wouldn’t say it out loud in public, don’t put it online. Would you really go up to that person on the street and scream obscenities in their face? I think not…

Welcome to my week…

This is the week where I have the “don’t touch me”‘s; in other words, don’t speak to me, don’t look at me and preferable don’t breathe around me. It used to be called PMS, however as I no longer suffer the M part, I just call this week the don’t touch me week. The boys are already laying low and staying out of my way. I’ve always told them when this is going on, that way they never ask “have you got your periods?”, possibly the worst question you could ever ask a woman. They know better, I can get the shits for having the shits’ sake, I don’t need to bleed to get pissed off at the world! I have Jay trained well for future girlfriends or a wife. He has learnt the lesson of “don’t poke the bear with a stick” very well. Has this been too much information so far?

The weekend has been lovely, catching up with good friends and having good times. I also discovered that Gentleman Jack is a good “sleepy juice”. I nodded off in my chair so easily last night after having a double in the early afternoon. I was looking for nap time after that, and I got it in my recliner. Jay was good, cooking for himself and the MOTH; I didn’t want dinner as I think I ate for a week at lunch. MOTH hasn’t been well, but he still came out yesterday, but we did need to cut the visit short as his back was giving him too much grief. And the cold August winds certainly haven’t helped…

With the MOTH out of action, I’ve actually had a busy Sunday morning, taking care of everything by myself. All the bits he does for me on Sunday I don’t realise until he can’t do them! They always say you need to miss something before you appreciate it, this is true! Although I’ve always appreciated the MOTH for everything he does around here, it’s just I can forget how much it is until I have to do it.

I had a bit of a “go” at MP earlier in the week, I think she really needed a wake up call. But I don’t think I made a difference at all. I asked her if she had her daughter as a guarantee for when she’s old and senile, she has her daughter to look after her. She was horrified at the suggestion, but I then asked her, “why are you modelling this behaviour?” (MP lives with parents and is bi-polar mothers’ carer) She again was horrified as the realisation started sinking in what she was doing to her daughter. I also put to her that she always says it was terrible to grow up how she did, but then leaves her daughter with her mother while she goes out. This is even though her mother has threatened self-harm openly in front of the 10-year-old child. I thought I was making progress, but then she was out Friday afternoon, without her daughter, who didn’t go to school as she couldn’t get up. WTF is that shit????? I’ve only got to say how disgusted I am and walk away. I can’t watch a parent destroy a child due to their own stupidity! I feel sorry for the kid, but I’ve done what I can, it’s up to MP to change, and I don’t see that happening any time soon…