Category Archives: Mothering

Another beautiful day….

How gorgeous is today? It started off pretty craptacular, but I’m loving this now. Will be off to the cake shop early to sit in the sun with cuppa and keep reading “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown. I don’t have too much more to go and I’m really enjoying it. I did like all his other books too, and this is very much in the same vein. And it will be so lovely down at Blue Ribbon Cakes for the afternoon, looking forward to it.

I’ve already had a busy day, but I got the dog walked nice and early this morning, out in the fog. My hair was all frizzy by the time I got home, but I couldn’t do anything with it before I went out again as it was still foggy at 10.30am! It was still foggy when I got to Teddles after 11, but it was really lovely by the time I left about 1pm. Jeez, we had such a laugh today, just chatting about life in general. He’s such a funny bloke, and it’s not like sitting with your average 71-year-old. The stories he tells me about his life as a younger man are just amazing. All the travelling and different jobs that he’s done over the years, all the different people that he has met, he’s had a really interesting life. And even though he has lost his vision and slowed down, he hasn’t lost any of his personality. He’s still very quick of wit and sharp of tongue, just like his mum, and she’s 92!

Not much to say at this time of day, however I am keen to get out and down to the shops. I’ll leave you all there for now and catch you next time…

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Manic Monday became tiresome Tuesday….

Yes it definitely did! I’m totally exhausted and still have dinner to serve up. At least its spaghetti Bolognese, so the sauce has been cooking for half the day and I only have the pasta to cook so at least the rest of the day is easy. I had planned to do some sorting and cleaning out of cupboards and drawers in the bedroom today, but nothing like that happened at all. I did get some cleaning done, but not what I really wanted to do. I don’t mind the cleaning so much, but I’ve been putting off the sorting and organising for so long now that it has become a huge job that I really want to start on. Oh well, there is always maybe Saturday…….

At least I didn’t hit the ground running today; I got up around 6am, then promptly went back to bed until 7.30am, which I was really happy about. It’s a good sign the mania is finally wearing down. And I had a lovely chat with Jay before he went to school today, so I feel that I made my point yesterday. He’s sitting at the table with me at the moment with his own laptop doing his history assignment. That would never have happened before yesterday’s dummy-spit. He’s going to need the time to do this one properly, as it looks like they have to produce a mini magazine on the 1930’s, with articles, stories, songs, fashion and even a crossword from those times. It’s a lot more than we would have had to do, but they also have software to help them do all this stuff. I remember the old stencils that we used to sniff when they were fresh, the kids today have never seen them. I can’t think of what they are called!

Jordy was really happy to have a morning walk today, her first morning since Friday. She loves the morning outings as much as I do. I took her out yesterday afternoon while I was waiting for Jay to come home, but she prefers the morning. Once that was done, I went back to the cake shop for coffee with P before she started work for the day. Managed to collect my boots and bag that she borrowed (didn’t use the boots though) too, so that’s those out of her way. The poor lovely has to move, and it’s becoming more and more urgent, as the owner really wants her gone so he can fix up the house and sell. I really feel for her, as it is sooooo hard to get a place locally at a reasonable price. It’s not like it’s a posh area, but it seems to be really hard for anyone trying to get a place on the rental market. Not much is affordable, most are so overpriced it’s ridiculous. I would hate to be out in the private rental market, it is utter insanity for anyone at the moment, and things don’t look to be improving any time soon. I think we have both the state and federal governments to thank for that, and a whole range of other things, but that’s another day’s rant!

I’m hoping tomorrow will be a little calmer, although I’m starting to feel less “rushed” as each day goes, so I should slow down to a more reasonable pace within a week. It can be totally exhausting like this, but I am learning to work with it and use the high’s to help accomplish things that need to get done. I would hate to think of how I would manage seeing Teddles every second day if I wasn’t a little high. But not only am I doing that, I’m managing to keep up with all the other things that have to be done around here and keeping up with the girlies. I’m going to have a rest day soon, but I know tomorrow isn’t that day….

Not a happy Mumma….

Well, today was report and parent/teacher interviews and guess who conveniently forgot to turn up at the hall after the final bell today? Even though the little precious was reminded before he left for school this morning, he still forgot. Not only that, he neglected to answer his phone the six times I called to ask him where he was. Again I cry, “why do you have a mobile phone if I can’t reach you on it?”. Not only that, he called back on a friends’ phone when he finally saw all the missed calls, as he was out of credit. For someone who only needs to ask to have the phone recharge, he’s pretty hopeless.

And I know he didn’t turn up today as he didn’t want to face the music. His math teacher had already phoned to let me know he sent a note home (that I never got) about Jay not doing work in class, saying he will finish it at home. I said that was funny, as he told us he was finishing his work at school. Now that all the work is done on the laptops, and Jay knows more about computers than anyone at his school, he can look as busy as he pleases doing whatever he likes instead of schoolwork and the teachers are none the wiser until it’s time to hand something in. Quite a few teachers said that he wasn’t making learning a priority, and so accordingly, I have revoked all his computer and technology privileges until he makes an improvement. And if that takes until the end of year report before I get some positive feedback, so be it. I’ve had enough of the deceptively teenage games, and it’s time he smarten up, as he is in the middle of year 9 and it all counts from here on in. All I have ever asked of him is that he give his best effort. He doesn’t have to top the class, he just has to make a reasonable effort in all of his classes.

I’ve told him too, that “I forgot” doesn’t cut it as an excuse anymore. That has to stop. If I say be somewhere at a certain time, make sure your arse is there; and you have a mobile for a reason…. Use the fekking thing. If I call or text, I expect that I can get through. I don’t expect immediate response during class time, but I know that I send them during breaks and the calls that I make are outside school hours, so I would assume that you could reasonable use the phone. Turn the ringer back on outside of school!

AAARRRGGGHHHHH……. Enough now, I need to take a breath and have a cuppa…..

Another day in the life of a bi-polar mother….

Still cruising on manic, although am getting better. Still need antipsychotics (1mg am, 2 mg pm), but I’m hanging in there and not going too high, which is a great relief. A lot of people say to me that I must enjoy the highs but I honestly don’t like being too high. A little manic goes a long way. I like to be what I call “bubbling along” slightly above “normal”, I can achieve a lot, and still stay focused. Where I am at the moment is a little higher than that and it has been a little too long, by about 4 weeks so far. I hate the lack of focus when I’m like this, as well as not being able to rest until after my tablet at night, when I’m getting ready for bed. I’d like to be able to put my feet up for an hour and rest, but my brain won’t let me. As Frank Zappa sings “The torture never stops…”

Enough bitching, the day has been kind to me all round. Got to see Teddles and have coffee with him and one of his neighbours, which was really good, but I didn’t stay for too long today. I had to get back and get cat and dog food on the way. Also got to have cuppa’s with P, which was good (I had a cold drink, one coffee a day is enough for me!). She’s been stressing over the crap she’s having to deal with as a mother and daughter-in-law, and I’m sure we all know how overwhelming that can be! I would certainly hate to be in her place, but I’m more than happy to be there as a friend and shoulder for her. She’s doing a lot of work on herself, not just pissing and moaning about a problem in the hope that it will just get better, and I admire her for that. If only more people spent more time on themselves instead of in other people’s business, the world would be a lot better. I also tend to think “there but for the grace of god go I”, and I count my blessings that we were able to work a program with our family to keep everyone happy.

There is a lot to be said for good communication; it’s not just being a good listener, it’s also about being able to get your point across in an appropriate and effective way. And being a good listener isn’t just about hearing what is being said, you also listen for what is being left unsaid. There is usually more to what is being edited out that the sanitised version that you are getting. There is also nothing wrong with asking someone “Are you okay?”. Sometimes, a person just likes to know that someone else cares enough to ask them are they okay. I think we need to look outside of our own selves a little more to see how what we do affects those around us. I’m always fascinated by the why of an action rather than the actual action.

There goes another day of life in Condell Park, and I have to say it’s darn cold today. It’s about 12C, but feels like 4C due to the wind chill. Even my fingers are really sore from the cold, not to mention the arthritis in the old bones……. Hope you’ve all had a good day too

The worst part of having passed on Bi Polar

I have to say that  it is both of us being hypomanic at the same time. Now, this isn’t quite manic, but it’s definitely not “normal” (not that there really is a “normal” anyway!). And I know that as hard as it is for both of us, it must be particularly bad for the MOTH at the moment, not being able to speak to either one of us. At least I can tell him I have the “don’t talk to me’s”, I don’t know that Jay realises he’s riding the wave while he’s on it. I know the MOTH “gets” it, but I don’t know that he understands what Jay has going through his head when he is like this. The more the MOTH speaks, the more our hackles go up, and it is the same with anyone in “authority”. I can just imagine what he puts his teachers through when he’s like this, I remember what I was like!

It’s funny, in a mortifying way, how much he’s like me. He struggles similarly with his mental to-ing and fro-ing, but he has a good environment and boundaries within which to explore to confines of his “illness”. He certainly doesn’t see it as a setback or an illness himself, he just sees himself as dealing with the world in a much different way as most other people. He’s okay with the fact that a lot of people don’t get him all the time, but he is also so smart that he can show everyone what he is talking about. He’s much more in charge of his day to day being than I ever was, but I also didn’t realise what was happening to me. As I explained to MOTH recently, I was deeply into my second episode of Clinical Depression by the time I was Jay’s age, and had no true diagnosis until I was 28 and had a complete “psychotic break” – more on that another time…

Anyhoo, I want to keep this reasonably short tonight, as I am tired from the running around and mental gymnastics of the past couple of weeks and I really need to get a good rest. Lets just say it can suck to be us, but we really love each other, all three of us, like no other. We were meant to be together as a family and we all compliment each other so well. I don’t know that life would be anywhere near as satisfying if it wasn’t with the challenges that we have to face. I guess I just want to say how much I love my men just the way they are, and I am so grateful to the pair of them for working together and with me to keep our family as happy as possible.

Saturday Night

What another beautiful Saturday here in Condell Park. The weather has been amazing for a few days, and looks like we have a few more on the way. I woke up really excited today, as I am doing my first makeup job in a while, and it’s for a good friend so it’s going to be lots of fun. I’ve had the colours picked out for her for a bit, but finally showed her yesterday and she is really happy with them. And it’s at her place before she goes out for the night, and I will be staying with her little man for the night so she can finally go out, which she hasn’t done for a really long time. Her little dude is so excited, he woke this morning while I was on the phone with her and said “I’m so excited Jenni’s coming to babysit me tonight!”. He really made my morning by saying that, and he didn’t know I was on the phone so it was all the more special.

I’ve been looking forward to getting back into doing more make overs, it’s a lot of fun and is very satisfying when you can show someone how much they can really wear without looking like “a whore” or “painted clown”. I get a big kick out of showing someone lots of colours, telling them I’m going to use them all and watching them freak out. As I say, “do I ever look like I set the gun to whore?” and they always say no. I’ve only ever had one unhappy customer, and it wasn’t the girl herself, it was her overbearing mother who thought mascara and lippy was more than enough, while the daughter wanted full, formal look. Mum won, as she was paying, but I wish I knew to begin with! Other than that, every formal, wedding party or guests, or “do” that I do, everyone is happy with my work, to the point I have 4 regulars for their big events (weddings, christenings, daughter’s formal).

Enough about me though, must say Flames Grill at Condell Park is the Lebanese takeaway to go to. Now that they’ve toned down the garlic sauce, it is totally awesome. I loved the chicken wrap I had today, with both garlic sauce and hommous. And I don’t stink….. last time, no amount of toothpaste and gargle was effective in alleviating the pungent smell emanating from me whenever I breathed. I had to sleep facing the wall so that MOTH didn’t have to smell me! It’s not like that any more, I think they had to cave in when the men came in and complained that their wives wanted a divorce because they stank of garlic. It didn’t stop them eating there though, and funking up their homes in the evening! EEEWWWWWWW

Was going to have a Nanna nap, but feel refreshed after chillaxing watching a kids movie on telly this afternoon, and the cuppa tea I just had was a good pick-me-up too. Hope I don’t fade early later, little dude is counting on me. I told him we were going to read “The day my bum went Psycho” and he giggles his little head off. Jay loved the “bum books” when he was little dudes age, and I’m a big fan of getting kids to read as many books as possible. Even comics, anything that gives them a chance to improve reading and vocabulary, and use their imagination, had to be good for them. Jay started reading Dr Seuss on his own before he started school, and was reading Dan Brown in year 6, when he was 11 turning 12. I always feel sad for the person I come across who doesn’t like to read, I feel they are missing out on so many things. I love the escapism of fiction, being transported to another place for a while, to the point I am sometimes disappointed when a good story comes to an end.

Anyhoo, like all good stories, this post too, must come to an end. I’m super excited about going in an hour. I need another cup of tea as my mouth is really dry, and I need to make sure again that I have everything that I need at the ready. I’ll do the check about another 3 times before I go, such is the paranoia I suffer! Have a good rest to your weekend too. Mwa xxx

TGIF

Yeah, thank god it’s Friday alright, I’m totally stuffed. Another busy week topped off by a day that started the week with nothing to do and ended up being filled with things that didn’t get done on other days prior! This is why I hate putting off crap, I’d rather keep running and get it done so I get a free day sooner. It turned out to be a good day anyway, so I’m not complaining about it.

Started with the usual walk with Jordy after MOTH came home from shopping at Aldi. MOTH didn’t do the walk, instead choosing to have a good breakky while I and girlie went alone. That was alright; I stopped at Blue Ribbon Cakes on Simmat Avenue for a soy latte and Jordy waited patiently for it to arrive. Saw a couple of the girls and a daughter so we got to have a quick chat about the ins and outs about town (gossip more like it). Enjoyed the coffee on the walk home, got back as MOTH had finished his cereal, then it was time to go to Carlton to get some shoes.

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Jay and I both got 2 pairs. He got a black pair and white pair for school, I got a nice grey/blue pair and a black/fluro green pair. So comfy having a new pair of runners, not that I do any running of course, and I didn’t want white ones as the dog is forever treading on my feet whenever we are together, and my last pair of white ones turned grey anyway. Tried to get MOTH to stop at girlfriends’ mothers’ house but that didn’t happen, he just seemed to avoid it.

Stopped at the local shops on the way home and bumped into P out shopping with her little man. Always good to see the both of them and they both seemed happy today, so that was awesome. I didn’t stop at home for long though, just long enough to eat a cheese and bacon roll, then ran back out to see my mate Teddles. He needed help with dressing a wound on his leg that seems to be refusing to heal. Had to go to the chemist for him, so I got a coffee for both of us at Gloria Jeans Panania while I was out. We had a good chinwag today, and he’s upset that he has to quit smoking. He’s not quite sure how he’ll go, but he’s determined so I know he’ll do it. But whether I want to talk to him while this is going on is another thing! I’ll be seeing him every second day to sort out his leg but that’s good, I love seeing him anyway.

Just as I was about to jump in the shower this afternoon, I had just taken my makeup off, when Jay needs money on my debit card (that wasn’t there), so I had enough time to get dressed again and walk down to the bank for him to get his downloads. I had to laugh though…. it’s 96gig and we only have 120gig per month so he has to do selective downloading… tehehehe

I asked MOTH if he would cook dinner tonight, but he wasn’t up to it so I let him off, but told him he owes me 3 for the privilige. He’ll step up for me most times I ask, but tonight I didn’t think he would but I tried anyway….. can’t blame a girl for trying. At least I don’t have to cook tomorrow night when I’m at P’s place with her little man for the night. Looking forward to that! Going to read “The day my bum went PSYCHO” by Andy Griffith with him, he’s just the right age 8 and a half.

Must rest now as tomorrow is a big day too. I’m getting so tired of these big days, but I will have a doona day soon. It’s time for Dr Who so I must run. Love youse all