Category Archives: Mothering

Another day in the life of a bi-polar mother….

Still cruising on manic, although am getting better. Still need antipsychotics (1mg am, 2 mg pm), but I’m hanging in there and not going too high, which is a great relief. A lot of people say to me that I must enjoy the highs but I honestly don’t like being too high. A little manic goes a long way. I like to be what I call “bubbling along” slightly above “normal”, I can achieve a lot, and still stay focused. Where I am at the moment is a little higher than that and it has been a little too long, by about 4 weeks so far. I hate the lack of focus when I’m like this, as well as not being able to rest until after my tablet at night, when I’m getting ready for bed. I’d like to be able to put my feet up for an hour and rest, but my brain won’t let me. As Frank Zappa sings “The torture never stops…”

Enough bitching, the day has been kind to me all round. Got to see Teddles and have coffee with him and one of his neighbours, which was really good, but I didn’t stay for too long today. I had to get back and get cat and dog food on the way. Also got to have cuppa’s with P, which was good (I had a cold drink, one coffee a day is enough for me!). She’s been stressing over the crap she’s having to deal with as a mother and daughter-in-law, and I’m sure we all know how overwhelming that can be! I would certainly hate to be in her place, but I’m more than happy to be there as a friend and shoulder for her. She’s doing a lot of work on herself, not just pissing and moaning about a problem in the hope that it will just get better, and I admire her for that. If only more people spent more time on themselves instead of in other people’s business, the world would be a lot better. I also tend to think “there but for the grace of god go I”, and I count my blessings that we were able to work a program with our family to keep everyone happy.

There is a lot to be said for good communication; it’s not just being a good listener, it’s also about being able to get your point across in an appropriate and effective way. And being a good listener isn’t just about hearing what is being said, you also listen for what is being left unsaid. There is usually more to what is being edited out that the sanitised version that you are getting. There is also nothing wrong with asking someone “Are you okay?”. Sometimes, a person just likes to know that someone else cares enough to ask them are they okay. I think we need to look outside of our own selves a little more to see how what we do affects those around us. I’m always fascinated by the why of an action rather than the actual action.

There goes another day of life in Condell Park, and I have to say it’s darn cold today. It’s about 12C, but feels like 4C due to the wind chill. Even my fingers are really sore from the cold, not to mention the arthritis in the old bones……. Hope you’ve all had a good day too

The worst part of having passed on Bi Polar

I have to say that  it is both of us being hypomanic at the same time. Now, this isn’t quite manic, but it’s definitely not “normal” (not that there really is a “normal” anyway!). And I know that as hard as it is for both of us, it must be particularly bad for the MOTH at the moment, not being able to speak to either one of us. At least I can tell him I have the “don’t talk to me’s”, I don’t know that Jay realises he’s riding the wave while he’s on it. I know the MOTH “gets” it, but I don’t know that he understands what Jay has going through his head when he is like this. The more the MOTH speaks, the more our hackles go up, and it is the same with anyone in “authority”. I can just imagine what he puts his teachers through when he’s like this, I remember what I was like!

It’s funny, in a mortifying way, how much he’s like me. He struggles similarly with his mental to-ing and fro-ing, but he has a good environment and boundaries within which to explore to confines of his “illness”. He certainly doesn’t see it as a setback or an illness himself, he just sees himself as dealing with the world in a much different way as most other people. He’s okay with the fact that a lot of people don’t get him all the time, but he is also so smart that he can show everyone what he is talking about. He’s much more in charge of his day to day being than I ever was, but I also didn’t realise what was happening to me. As I explained to MOTH recently, I was deeply into my second episode of Clinical Depression by the time I was Jay’s age, and had no true diagnosis until I was 28 and had a complete “psychotic break” – more on that another time…

Anyhoo, I want to keep this reasonably short tonight, as I am tired from the running around and mental gymnastics of the past couple of weeks and I really need to get a good rest. Lets just say it can suck to be us, but we really love each other, all three of us, like no other. We were meant to be together as a family and we all compliment each other so well. I don’t know that life would be anywhere near as satisfying if it wasn’t with the challenges that we have to face. I guess I just want to say how much I love my men just the way they are, and I am so grateful to the pair of them for working together and with me to keep our family as happy as possible.

Saturday Night

What another beautiful Saturday here in Condell Park. The weather has been amazing for a few days, and looks like we have a few more on the way. I woke up really excited today, as I am doing my first makeup job in a while, and it’s for a good friend so it’s going to be lots of fun. I’ve had the colours picked out for her for a bit, but finally showed her yesterday and she is really happy with them. And it’s at her place before she goes out for the night, and I will be staying with her little man for the night so she can finally go out, which she hasn’t done for a really long time. Her little dude is so excited, he woke this morning while I was on the phone with her and said “I’m so excited Jenni’s coming to babysit me tonight!”. He really made my morning by saying that, and he didn’t know I was on the phone so it was all the more special.

I’ve been looking forward to getting back into doing more make overs, it’s a lot of fun and is very satisfying when you can show someone how much they can really wear without looking like “a whore” or “painted clown”. I get a big kick out of showing someone lots of colours, telling them I’m going to use them all and watching them freak out. As I say, “do I ever look like I set the gun to whore?” and they always say no. I’ve only ever had one unhappy customer, and it wasn’t the girl herself, it was her overbearing mother who thought mascara and lippy was more than enough, while the daughter wanted full, formal look. Mum won, as she was paying, but I wish I knew to begin with! Other than that, every formal, wedding party or guests, or “do” that I do, everyone is happy with my work, to the point I have 4 regulars for their big events (weddings, christenings, daughter’s formal).

Enough about me though, must say Flames Grill at Condell Park is the Lebanese takeaway to go to. Now that they’ve toned down the garlic sauce, it is totally awesome. I loved the chicken wrap I had today, with both garlic sauce and hommous. And I don’t stink….. last time, no amount of toothpaste and gargle was effective in alleviating the pungent smell emanating from me whenever I breathed. I had to sleep facing the wall so that MOTH didn’t have to smell me! It’s not like that any more, I think they had to cave in when the men came in and complained that their wives wanted a divorce because they stank of garlic. It didn’t stop them eating there though, and funking up their homes in the evening! EEEWWWWWWW

Was going to have a Nanna nap, but feel refreshed after chillaxing watching a kids movie on telly this afternoon, and the cuppa tea I just had was a good pick-me-up too. Hope I don’t fade early later, little dude is counting on me. I told him we were going to read “The day my bum went Psycho” and he giggles his little head off. Jay loved the “bum books” when he was little dudes age, and I’m a big fan of getting kids to read as many books as possible. Even comics, anything that gives them a chance to improve reading and vocabulary, and use their imagination, had to be good for them. Jay started reading Dr Seuss on his own before he started school, and was reading Dan Brown in year 6, when he was 11 turning 12. I always feel sad for the person I come across who doesn’t like to read, I feel they are missing out on so many things. I love the escapism of fiction, being transported to another place for a while, to the point I am sometimes disappointed when a good story comes to an end.

Anyhoo, like all good stories, this post too, must come to an end. I’m super excited about going in an hour. I need another cup of tea as my mouth is really dry, and I need to make sure again that I have everything that I need at the ready. I’ll do the check about another 3 times before I go, such is the paranoia I suffer! Have a good rest to your weekend too. Mwa xxx

TGIF

Yeah, thank god it’s Friday alright, I’m totally stuffed. Another busy week topped off by a day that started the week with nothing to do and ended up being filled with things that didn’t get done on other days prior! This is why I hate putting off crap, I’d rather keep running and get it done so I get a free day sooner. It turned out to be a good day anyway, so I’m not complaining about it.

Started with the usual walk with Jordy after MOTH came home from shopping at Aldi. MOTH didn’t do the walk, instead choosing to have a good breakky while I and girlie went alone. That was alright; I stopped at Blue Ribbon Cakes on Simmat Avenue for a soy latte and Jordy waited patiently for it to arrive. Saw a couple of the girls and a daughter so we got to have a quick chat about the ins and outs about town (gossip more like it). Enjoyed the coffee on the walk home, got back as MOTH had finished his cereal, then it was time to go to Carlton to get some shoes.

Image

Jay and I both got 2 pairs. He got a black pair and white pair for school, I got a nice grey/blue pair and a black/fluro green pair. So comfy having a new pair of runners, not that I do any running of course, and I didn’t want white ones as the dog is forever treading on my feet whenever we are together, and my last pair of white ones turned grey anyway. Tried to get MOTH to stop at girlfriends’ mothers’ house but that didn’t happen, he just seemed to avoid it.

Stopped at the local shops on the way home and bumped into P out shopping with her little man. Always good to see the both of them and they both seemed happy today, so that was awesome. I didn’t stop at home for long though, just long enough to eat a cheese and bacon roll, then ran back out to see my mate Teddles. He needed help with dressing a wound on his leg that seems to be refusing to heal. Had to go to the chemist for him, so I got a coffee for both of us at Gloria Jeans Panania while I was out. We had a good chinwag today, and he’s upset that he has to quit smoking. He’s not quite sure how he’ll go, but he’s determined so I know he’ll do it. But whether I want to talk to him while this is going on is another thing! I’ll be seeing him every second day to sort out his leg but that’s good, I love seeing him anyway.

Just as I was about to jump in the shower this afternoon, I had just taken my makeup off, when Jay needs money on my debit card (that wasn’t there), so I had enough time to get dressed again and walk down to the bank for him to get his downloads. I had to laugh though…. it’s 96gig and we only have 120gig per month so he has to do selective downloading… tehehehe

I asked MOTH if he would cook dinner tonight, but he wasn’t up to it so I let him off, but told him he owes me 3 for the privilige. He’ll step up for me most times I ask, but tonight I didn’t think he would but I tried anyway….. can’t blame a girl for trying. At least I don’t have to cook tomorrow night when I’m at P’s place with her little man for the night. Looking forward to that! Going to read “The day my bum went PSYCHO” by Andy Griffith with him, he’s just the right age 8 and a half.

Must rest now as tomorrow is a big day too. I’m getting so tired of these big days, but I will have a doona day soon. It’s time for Dr Who so I must run. Love youse all

Gardasil for boys

About time they got the injections too… They also get HPV and share it with the ladies, leading to 70% of cases of cervical cancer, and that’s deadly. I found out I had it when I was 3 months preggers (thanks again ex) and had it removed and treated when Jay was 4 months old. Scary stuff. And I know some girls haven’t had the chance to be mothers and never will be due to this insidious disease. Protect ’em all, I say!

Sliding into lunch…

It was one of those mornings where I felt like I moved the world…. At least I feel that I accomplished a lot. I’ve paid for my friends’ leather biker jacket that I ordered for him online last night. It’s for Ted, he asked me to price one for him, and I found the perfect one online for $98.90 and I should have it by Monday. I’m really looking forward to taking it over to him and seeing him try it on, he’s going to be really happy with it, I’m sure. He doesn’t know it also comes with leather gloves, so that will be a nice surprise for him.

I got to walk Jordy with MOTH before going to the bank this morning. That was nice, as always, but the bank, OMG…. The bank manager was on happy pills doing the “commonwealth concierge”. Scared the shit out of me! One person got by while he was chatting to me about my jumper (FFS), but I wouldn’t let the second one past so I rushed off and up to the front of the line. I think the service at my local branch is fine and the manager needs to give the ‘roids a miss and calm the fuck down!

Once that was dealt with, I left MOTH here with his mate and took Jay to pick up his glasses and get his hair cut. The glasses didn’t need much adjusting at all, it’s like they were waiting for him to come along and get them. He looked great, but then it was to the barber and off with the locks. He got his first “shave” with the beard trimmer too, and he’s my handsome young dude again, not someone who was dropped on the back patio by the wolves who had reared him! I got him some decent shampoo and some conditioner while there too, but we’re all good to go for six months, although the boy will be shorn more regularly.

As it was about 11.45am when we got back home, Jay disappeared into “Portal” and I asked MOTH if we’d still go to Carlton today. We looked at the weather outside, the storm that suddenly brewed in Jay’s room was also threatening, so we had a rethink and we’ll go to Paul’s Warehouse tomorrow for some new shoes. And so it was, that I slid into a nice Aromatic Chicken Curry from Lite ‘n Easy for lunch; totally delicious!

Hoping to go for cuppa’s this afternoon and have a chat with P, catch up with what is going on in the world…

Another busy day…

Always seems like lots to do and so little time to do it! The day started nicely, walking Jordy with MOTH in the warm morning sun, all nice and casual, then the pace had to pick up.

Jay had an appointment with the optometrist to get glasses today, but needed to have a complete re-test as his vision had changed quite considerably in the last six months. We picked out frames for him before Alex (optometrist) saw him, and he looks really good in them. They were supposed to be ready this afternoon, but we never got the phone call, and judging by the walk-in clean and repair jobs we saw in the 45 minutes we were there, it wasn’t going to happen today. That’s fine, I don’t mind getting them in the morning. He’ll have a full day wearing them, and should notice the difference quite spectacularly. I’m excited for him, and he’s happy enough, even though he will need to wear them all the time. He said that more than half the kids at school wear glasses at least in class, and plenty wear them full-time, so no one gets hassles any more. As a mum, you gotta be happy with that.

I had to visit my friend Teddles today, and that is always fun. He’s blind, and he calls me his “seeing eye dog” when I take him on errands, like the bank, chemist, barber, all those things he needs a little help with. He’s Kate, my neighbours’, son. He is 71, and he’s always good for a laugh. I could be feeling really craptacular, but he will cheer me up every time. I see him every second Wednesday for his regular routine of banking, but I pop in and see him whenever I am in his neighbourhood. I got to know him quite well when he moved in with Kate after his wife passed away two and a half years ago. He lived here for about a year, until he was able to pick himself up and move on. He also broke his leg quite badly by tripping over a cat just before his wife passed away, so he really needed somewhere until he got on his feet again. He has his own nice department of housing unit now, and it suits him just fine. He’s got good neighbours who help him out when necessary, he doesn’t need to ask for anything, they just get him milk when they go shopping and things like that. We have a Gloria Jeans coffee when we go banking, they know our order now when I go in. And he always flirts with the girl at the bank; it’s really cute and funny. He does have a “lady friend” now, but flirting doesn’t hurt anyone and it keeps him happy.

I stopped at Condell Park shops on the way home to give Beryl her travel mug that I got for her today, and stopped and chatted to a couple of the girls while they had afternoon tea. That’s the best thing about living here; (it can also be the worst thing) you never get lonely for company and it’s never just a “quick trip to the shops”. You will always see someone you know and stop and chat to them. Most people here are friendly and there are enough coffee shops and eateries with alfresco dining that you can stop and chat to someone on any given day. I love it, but it can be a nuisance on occasion.

Well, tomorrow will be “another busy day” too. Lots to do, people to see, places to be….

Another day in the life of…..

And what a lovely day it was, even though it was a cold and foggy start to the day. I like waking up watching the fog coming up from the shops, it looks kind of spooky. Just pull the covers up around my ears and lay in bed watching the street disappear is a nice way to spend a winter morning. The only downside is the fact that I do have to get out of bed and get on with the day. I’m still a little high, so the getting up and getting going isn’t too bad. I hate having to do a winter morning when I’m flat or low, it’s all too hard!

A photo at the request of MOTH, as it looked like the moon was hiding behind the clouds during the day…..

A lovely morning with 5 layers on! Had to walk Jordy, so was all rugged up in coat and beanie for that. It was a nice walk with just her and I, and we did it fairly quickly. She must have felt a little cold too. Not many at the coffee shop by the time we got there, but we kept walking and we were a bit late for the girls. They’ll all be back next week when school goes back. I went back for a cuppa after I took Jordy home, and I did a little shopping for us and Kate before rushing back home to take Jay to his pediatrician at lunch.

We got to the doctors’ office early, via East Hills, stopping to see the fabulous Freddie on our way. He’s a lovely old dude with a shop in East Hills and sells drinks, chips and lollies cheap, all the necessities for a drive. On getting there, we went to see how many in front, and for the first time no one was there and he waived us in half an hour early. Jay and I looked at each other, shrugged and went in, happy to be over and done with early. I must say he is a picture of glowing health all, 186cm and 75kg of him! What a hunky dude! It’s always good to check in with doctor George every six months and monitor Jay’s progress. He was really happy with him today, but I finally discovered that Jay is nervous about his math test results. He has to pass everything in his half yearly or lose all electronic privileges. That means he only gets to use his school laptop and calculator and check his mobile at the front door when he gets home from school until he passes everything, so that meant at least five months. I think I have him really worried….. At least all his schoolwork was done and handed in on time this semester, and I haven’t had to whinge and nag to get him to do homework and assignments. Whilst I might not agree with homework, I believe it is a necessary evil as it is work that has been set to be completed, therefore forcing the student to “time manage” and “self supervise”, both important skills to learn while growing up. I don’t think they actually gain any more knowledge about the topic than they did prior to completing the homework task, unless they are really interested in learning about that topic. In Jay’s case, if he gets it done quickly, that’s more online time he has with his mates. He is running his own server that he built so I give him massive credit for that, but he does need to be outside a bit more……

Had a catch up with P when she finished work – God she’s a laugh. She’s one of those friends you like to see lots of because they make you feel happy in your day, even if they’re day may suck, they still make you feel like you’re surrounded in sunshine just being with them. Lent her some boots for her outfit for the weekend, hope they work for her, saving time and money. I’ll be fixing her hair and makeup for the party, then I’ll be staying with her little man for the evening, which I am looking forward to very much. He’s a lovely little dude, and my boys will enjoy a night of boy movies together here while I do animation with him at his place. Looking forward to that.

Dinner was good tonight – it was just crumbed steak, potato bake and vegetables, but I made a little mayo thingy, with garlic, chili and lemon. That was the good part, if I say so myself. I was quite impressed with my little invention, feeling a bit adventurous in the kitchen tonight. Sometimes that might not be a good thing, but it paid off tonight, and for that, I am happy.

That’s it from me, just another daily ramble about what I got up to today….. 🙂

TGIF…..

Always TGIF on the F! I was up early enough to go shopping with MOTH this morning at Aldi. I don’t know how he coped with getting there only 5 minutes before the door opened. Again, it was freezing this morning, but standing up the side of the building made it more bearable while waiting for the doors to open. So glad when the doors did open this morning, kind of thawed out by half way through aisle one. Got a new pillow each for MOTH and Jay, and they both seem happy with them. We also got a few other goodies today, and I got to see the couple that are always there on a Friday morning besides MOTH (and me when I go).

Finally got to do MyKate’s banking for her, as well as pick up some medication for her and Kev (her friend) and pay some bills. I’m glad Kev pays most of her electricity bill, he’s the one using the most power, even though he doesn’t live there. I got her some new slippers for herself and her sister as well. They are really soft, almost sock-like sheepskin, with rubber writing on the bottom to stop slipping. Got myself a second pair too, as they can just be thrown in the washing machine and dried when needed. You can wear them to bed, MyKate does, but I don’t. My feet would get too hot.

I ended up having three walks down the street today; once with MOTH and Jordy, again to get some potatoes for dinner tonight, then to have coffee with P this afternoon. MP arrived with the young’uns but P had to go with her boy, so I stayed with MP for a while, just chatter-boxing about about all kinds of things, including about how the kids change as they get older (hers are younger than mine), and her father’s health (he has lung cancer). It was good, but I always wonder how much she really listens too and takes in. She quite often seems to be thinking of what she’s going to say next rather that listening to what I am saying at the moment….. I’m sure we’ve all met people like that! Everyone says she has a heart of gold, I always reply  with “so does an artichoke!

Cooked a nice dinner tonight of crumbed steak, potato bake and mixed steamed vegies. Everyone was happy with that, and I love that the boys clean up for me afterwards. All that was done before MOTH and I settled in for Doctor Who this evening, following up with the footy. Tigers are in front 4-0 Bulldogs, as we check-in with the game. Speaking of Dr Who, the mug I order for my friends’ 50th was only sent today in the post, so I will not have it before Tuesday. Pissed off really, as I left 5 delivery days when they never take more than 2 days. Oh well, that’s what you get when you purchase during a sale. Got a good price, but will have to leave a kind of cryptic message on his card for him tomorrow night.

Going for early blow-job at Hair-On-Simmat about 9am tomorrow. All excited about this party tomorrow night, should be lots of faces I haven’t seen in some time and MOTH is coming with me so it should be a fantastic night. I’m almost too excited to sleep!

Hair today….

MOTHs’ mate was here this morning, just after he got back from the doctors’. That was before 9am! So definitely had catch up cuppa’s before braving the cold. MyKate’s daughter and grandson turned up to pick her up for a visit to the solicitor this morning, just so she could finalise her will and make grandson her executor. Glad that’s sorted out! Her daughter just gives me the most sour look, but I must remember, it’s not me, that’s just how she looks at everyone! MyKate even said she must have looked at the solicitor like that, as he was giving her an odd look. I cracked up when she told me that this afternoon. Even MOTHs’ friend shuddered when he set eyes upon her when he was leaving this morning! I’m glad it’s not me, I was getting paranoid, and I don’t need help getting that!

Took Jordy and MOTH for a walk to the shops this morning, bloody freezing that was. The wind chill was really, really cold. Felt like 1C, that is cold for here. Jordy didn’t mind, but I thought MOTH was going to freeze to the chair he was sitting on, waiting with Jordy, while I stuffed around in the cake shop (Blue Ribbon Cakes – Condell Park) getting Coconut Caramel slices for us, and organising my cuppa for later. Absolutely astounded at how frozen my fingers were this morning, even the sun didn’t feel like it was warming up my cheeks.

Got back in time for text message from P, “catch-up in 5 for coffee”. I was there…. order my chai latte for me! Very nice catching up with the girlies and kiddies, be glad when school goes back and the young ones don’t have to hang around us being bored, and annoyed! Had to sit inside as the wind was still icy at nearly 10am. Did some shopping with P and went to hers to help her put a colour in her hair, chocolate-brown. Looked really good when we finished, and I was pleased, as it has been a while since I have done this for someone. Had heaps of fun playing “girlie bum”, which is something I don’t get to do too often, being the wife of an old biker and mother of a teen boy. Didn’t finish and get home until about 1:45pm, then played the waiting game with my hairdresser. She said she was coming, but I wasn’t going to hold my breath, if she was coming, it wouldn’t be on time.

BellaModa finally arrived at about 4.15pm, so she did a nice cut and put the foils on for me, which I left in until just after 6pm. I got to shower and wash them out about an hour ago, and I can’t wait ’til it dries, so I can see the lovely colour. Wish BellaModa could have stayed to dry my hair, but that’s ok for tonight, I really want it dried on Saturday for the evening. As I had book Hair on Simmat as a backup, I will downgrade that appointment to just a blow dry, so I can look as fabulous as possible! Glad it got done, but get really annoyed with waiting for BM sometimes. I know she’s busy, got lots going on, etc.., but don’t we all? FFS! I’ve never stuffed a client around like that when I have gone to do make up, and its funny, because the excuses she was texting me are the same ones I’ve heard her use so many times over the years to other people.

The boy cooked dinner for he and the MOTH tonight, which was lovely, as I got rather busy around that time. I’m about to sit down to a lite ‘n easy Aromatic Chicken Curry meal in a bowl while watching Doctor Who; looking forward to that. Also happy it’s Thursday, Law& Order SVU tonight, then the news if I last that long. Have fun people, remember that I love ya, and keep it real.

Mmmmmmmm, Old Gold chocolate easter egg