Category Archives: Mothering

And this week presents…

Well, great news, I’ve got work as an electoral officer at the upcoming state election on the 9th September. It’s a long day so I will get the full pay plus meal allowance and training allowance, so I’m pretty happy to have some spare cash coming in soon.

I also got my roster for HSC Supervision at International Grammar School at Ultimo. That starts on the 16th October and goes ’til about the 4th November and I have quite a few shifts, so that will all help in the lead up to christmas. I have expensive taste in skincare so I don’t expect the family to provide that for me!

This visit with Dad was painful this week, he seems to have lost continence again, the poor lovely, just when he was getting better with it. It seems his meds are working too, as he was very quite, didn’t try to contribute to conversations. He just seemed to enjoy the sun as we had purchased him a new jacket to keep him warm when it’s windy.

As far as my cancer goes, we are still waiting for cells to grow back to confirm the diagnosis so I only have to wait around 6 weeks now, then we can go have another test and come up with a plan of action. I’ve come to accept it now and have stopped freaking out about it, as this will probably make it worse. As I said before, at least I’m not pregnant this time and we can sort it out straight away.

They boys are good, they have been loving me and supporting me through this (and many other things!). I couldn’t have asked for a better support crew. Love my boys very much xoxoxo

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What’s been happening?

Well, there is so much to say as it has been quite a long time since I’ve been here. I’ve often thought to myself that “I should do a blog update”, and of course, that is all it has been, a thought. Just had a lot happening this year and not had the “energy” to do this. Now is the time to turn that around.

I’ll start with Dad. He’s in the nursing home at Padstow, and has made improvements from where we were in January/February. He’s walking again, with the assistance of a walking frame, which he also needs to get up and down. You can have a chat with him, but you might not always understand what he is trying to say to you. He’s also recovered enough to want to “fight” with other residents, so this is not necessarily a great thing. Those who know him know how combative he can be, but in a dementia ward, other residents don’t know what’s going on with him and he can get aggressive. Hopefully this doesn’t get any worse, or the staff will really have problems with him.

He lost a lot of weight back at the start of the year when he was really sick and unable to eat. He has, however, put a fair bit of it back on now that he is eating again. His diabetes went away, but I am starting to become concerned that he will have it again soon if he keeps eating the way he does. They must be letting him have too many biscuits and cakes throughout the day, because he will eat as many as he can get away with, when he shouldn’t really be having any.

We’ve also discovered that Dad is having low iron issues. He’s not eating the meat that they serve (I’ve seen it and don’t think I’d be too keen on some of it!), which doesn’t help. They do believe that he may have some issue with his bowel, such as a polyp that is bleeding, but we have decided not to put him through further testing as it will be too rough on him. We’ve decided to treat the low iron and we’ll deal with anything else if and when it arises.

Now for my health….. I recently had my annual Pap smear and blood test and got the results today. Cholesterol and blood sugar are really good, thyroid is good, but unfortunately, my liver functions are still elevated and not coming down even though I have lost weight. I was a little surprised by that, and the doctor has decided to investigate this further to be sure it’s no more than fatty liver. Not great, but if that’s it, it will get better the more weight I lose. I’ve lost around 16Kg so far, another 9 to go.

Unfortunately, the Pap results weren’t great either. It looks like the cervical cancer that I have been clear of for 20 years is making it’s comeback. I have to wait for the cells to grow back so I can have another Pap smear in October and see what the results show. I’m not too concerned at this stage, as it is very early days and we’ve detected it early, so it shouldn’t be too much of an issue to get rid of it again. I’ll take every treatment they offer to get rid of this and it will all be good again.

Anyway, the MOTH and the boy have been great about this, and they are going along well. The three of us make such an amazing unit, and we all love and support each other with whatever we have to deal with. We face everything as a family, and we’ll get through all this together.

Gonna love you and leave you there. Other things have gone on, and I’m sure much more will, but I won’t leave it so long ’til next time

New Reading Glasses and other things…

Awesome! I can see the laptop clearly and I can read books again! MOTH just came with me to Big W at Bankstown to pick up my glasses with me. Thought it was going to take longer to pay them off, but getting our FTB paid back promptly really helped. What with the gas and electricity bill, the car rego and repairs, it looked like slowly paying the balance off on my glasses. But now all is good, and I’m just really excited to be able to see clearly again.

Got an update from my brother on Dad’s progress. He’s still fighting all attempts to help him and he’s still generally confused, but he is slightly better. He was able to ask Allan about his plants and Julie said they were taking care of them. It was great he was able to put a question together, but Allan and Julie looking after plants is a bit scary. Dad is still in ICU, as they aren’t prepared to release him back to the ward just yet. They want to make sure there is nothing else wrong with him, and this could last a couple more days. So, there is positive progress being made, however small and slowly. It’s all still wait-and-see.

I will be going to see him tomorrow, and I am really hanging to get there. I haven’t been since Tuesday, and I put off traveling as I was already going to Linden for Yulefest this Saturday, and I can’t really afford all the petrol driving out there and back too often. I’m looking forward to Yulefest, my brother and sister-in-law always put on the most amazing Christmas feast, and I actually feel like eating it all because it is so cold and the weather is made for the roasting of meat and vegies, smothered in loads of gravy, followed by rummy, fruity pudding and custard. I’ve been keeping the kilojoules down this week in preparation for the feast. It’ll be a bit sad to not have Dad there, but I’ll be seeing him again Sunday, as I intend on staying at Allan and Julie’s overnight.

Today is the anniversary of Mum’s passing, 18 years ago. I always think of it as her independence day, finally free of pain and her mental tortures. For those of you who don’t know, Mum died of cancer only 5 weeks after she went into hospital with pancreatic pain. She went in in the last week of May, only to pass away on the 4th of July. We were only told it was certainly cancer about a week and a half before she passed. It was all very quick and we were only just getting used to the idea of her being sick, and boom, she was gone. At least she didn’t suffer for too long, it was very painful for her and it ate her away. I didn’t recognise her when I first went in to see her in May. I thought “who is this little old lady waving me down?”…. It was her!

I sometimes go to Solander Point on the 4th of July, as that is where we scattered her ashes. It’s lovely out there, and if you are lucky, you get to see some whales frolicking off the coast as they migrate north at this time of year. We chose not to go today, as there was lots we need to get done, and I don’t have the weekend to do it over.

Jay is with MOTH buying a new battery for his bike. Hopefully they have done the chemist and cat litter run while they were out. I have to take Jay later to get his bike helmet at Liverpool. My baby is getting ready to ride! I’m proud of him, but worried about the other idiots on the road. He is always talking about safety and how to handle different situations so I hope he puts it into practice. He has stripped the bike down and made many repairs, and it’s almost ready for him to ride. I’m really excited for him.

Welcome to my week…

This is the week where I have the “don’t touch me”‘s; in other words, don’t speak to me, don’t look at me and preferable don’t breathe around me. It used to be called PMS, however as I no longer suffer the M part, I just call this week the don’t touch me week. The boys are already laying low and staying out of my way. I’ve always told them when this is going on, that way they never ask “have you got your periods?”, possibly the worst question you could ever ask a woman. They know better, I can get the shits for having the shits’ sake, I don’t need to bleed to get pissed off at the world! I have Jay trained well for future girlfriends or a wife. He has learnt the lesson of “don’t poke the bear with a stick” very well. Has this been too much information so far?

The weekend has been lovely, catching up with good friends and having good times. I also discovered that Gentleman Jack is a good “sleepy juice”. I nodded off in my chair so easily last night after having a double in the early afternoon. I was looking for nap time after that, and I got it in my recliner. Jay was good, cooking for himself and the MOTH; I didn’t want dinner as I think I ate for a week at lunch. MOTH hasn’t been well, but he still came out yesterday, but we did need to cut the visit short as his back was giving him too much grief. And the cold August winds certainly haven’t helped…

With the MOTH out of action, I’ve actually had a busy Sunday morning, taking care of everything by myself. All the bits he does for me on Sunday I don’t realise until he can’t do them! They always say you need to miss something before you appreciate it, this is true! Although I’ve always appreciated the MOTH for everything he does around here, it’s just I can forget how much it is until I have to do it.

I had a bit of a “go” at MP earlier in the week, I think she really needed a wake up call. But I don’t think I made a difference at all. I asked her if she had her daughter as a guarantee for when she’s old and senile, she has her daughter to look after her. She was horrified at the suggestion, but I then asked her, “why are you modelling this behaviour?” (MP lives with parents and is bi-polar mothers’ carer) She again was horrified as the realisation started sinking in what she was doing to her daughter. I also put to her that she always says it was terrible to grow up how she did, but then leaves her daughter with her mother while she goes out. This is even though her mother has threatened self-harm openly in front of the 10-year-old child. I thought I was making progress, but then she was out Friday afternoon, without her daughter, who didn’t go to school as she couldn’t get up. WTF is that shit????? I’ve only got to say how disgusted I am and walk away. I can’t watch a parent destroy a child due to their own stupidity! I feel sorry for the kid, but I’ve done what I can, it’s up to MP to change, and I don’t see that happening any time soon…

Back to Earth…

with a resounding “thud”. I got up yesterday in time to see the boy off, (after MOTH brought me a cup of tea in bed), grabbed the laptop and ereader, and headed back to bed. I wasn’t going anywhere for anyone yesterday morning, not even Jordy! And I enjoyed every minute of it too. I did take her for a walk at lunch time when it was nice and warm, before the cold wind picked up. By then, I’d had my shower and gone back to bed for the best nanna nap I’ve had in quite a while. I actually got to sleep, which I haven’t been able to do lately, no matter how tired I have felt. Jay cooked dinner for us last night, and that just topped off my lazy day so beautifully.

Finally starting to get what I feel is a good nights’ sleep now. I wake up feeling refreshed instead of as tired as when I went to sleep. It was lovely that MOTH brought me a cuppa again this morning in bed, I’m feeling quite spoiled. He always makes me one when I get up, but the last two days in bed have been wonderful. I haven’t come too far down this time, I seem to be settling nicely at just above “normal”, so I’m getting up and carrying on as always, but with a little less speed to everything.

Ups and downs…..

I love that I have been high lately, and I think I have the Krill Oil to thank for that. It seems to have really worked to reduce the arthritis pain in my tailbone and this has given me a new lease on life. Plus, I’ve been slowly reducing my painkillers, with plans to be off them in a couple of months, when it warms up somewhat. I can’t take the cold settling in the old injury! I sound old talking like that, but old sporting injuries really hurt… I have been enjoying putting makeup on again, and walking a lot more like I used too. I might shift a few stubborn kilo’s if I’m really lucky.

The worst part is coming down again…… I am so tired, but can’t get a good sleep yet. It’s really sucky being between, I need a really good few nights’ rest to finally feel refreshed enough to get up and do it all again. The antipsychotics are working really well, knocking me out at night, but the pill hangover is really bad. I know I need to take these at this dose for a while longer, but will be glad when this ends. Sometimes, when someone is talking to me, I feel like my brain is going to sleep during their conversation and I struggle to keep track of what they are saying. Most people who know me are okay with this, but some people don’t get that I’m not totally with it all the time and become too demanding of my attention. I can’t help it if my brain wants to shut them out!

The weather was beautiful today, and I really enjoyed the walk with Jordy and the MOTH this morning. It was lovely and warm in the sun, and I was glad to have MOTH out with us, as it has been a while due to his health. His ongoing chest infection continues to be ongoing (about 5 months now), and the really cold, damp air is no good for him. We did some shopping while we were out with Jordy, and she is so patient with us, just sits and waits with either one of us while the other goes into which ever shop. I hadn’t mentioned yet, but I found out last Friday at the Vet that Jordy has a heart murmur, and I’m waiting for them to call me regarding scans to find out how serious it is. The vet seems to believe that her heart might be a little large for the artery on her left side. The important thing is to keep her at a good weight and walk every day, which we do. She is a total picture of health otherwise. The vet really liked her, and Jordy thought she was alright too. We use the Animal Welfare League, at Kemps Creek, as they have been excellent with all our furbabies, and the price is reasonable. Guess I can’t get pet insurance for her now.

Had a nice lunch from Flames with P and her little man early this afternoon, and it was so nice to sit in the sun and enjoy good company and good food. We had our little gossip session, so we both get to catch up on stuff we may have missed during the week from others around the neighbourhood. I love my little suburb, and I love the good friends that I have too. Got invited to lunch in two weeks from another friend, this one for the whole family, and we’re all looking forward to going. I haven’t seen Miss B for a while, and I love her and her kids, they’ve been great friends to us for a very long time. Can’t wait!

I’m making pizza for dinner; Jay is already into his, ours is nearly finished cooking. It smells great in here, I only wish I had a wood-fire oven for these occasions. The gas stove does the job though, and a wood-fire would probably be a pain in the ass for me anyway. Adios, Amigo’s, have a lovely evening and a nice sleep-in for a Sunday morning….