Another day in the life of a bi-polar mother….

Still cruising on manic, although am getting better. Still need antipsychotics (1mg am, 2 mg pm), but I’m hanging in there and not going too high, which is a great relief. A lot of people say to me that I must enjoy the highs but I honestly don’t like being too high. A little manic goes a long way. I like to be what I call “bubbling along” slightly above “normal”, I can achieve a lot, and still stay focused. Where I am at the moment is a little higher than that and it has been a little too long, by about 4 weeks so far. I hate the lack of focus when I’m like this, as well as not being able to rest until after my tablet at night, when I’m getting ready for bed. I’d like to be able to put my feet up for an hour and rest, but my brain won’t let me. As Frank Zappa sings “The torture never stops…”

Enough bitching, the day has been kind to me all round. Got to see Teddles and have coffee with him and one of his neighbours, which was really good, but I didn’t stay for too long today. I had to get back and get cat and dog food on the way. Also got to have cuppa’s with P, which was good (I had a cold drink, one coffee a day is enough for me!). She’s been stressing over the crap she’s having to deal with as a mother and daughter-in-law, and I’m sure we all know how overwhelming that can be! I would certainly hate to be in her place, but I’m more than happy to be there as a friend and shoulder for her. She’s doing a lot of work on herself, not just pissing and moaning about a problem in the hope that it will just get better, and I admire her for that. If only more people spent more time on themselves instead of in other people’s business, the world would be a lot better. I also tend to think “there but for the grace of god go I”, and I count my blessings that we were able to work a program with our family to keep everyone happy.

There is a lot to be said for good communication; it’s not just being a good listener, it’s also about being able to get your point across in an appropriate and effective way. And being a good listener isn’t just about hearing what is being said, you also listen for what is being left unsaid. There is usually more to what is being edited out that the sanitised version that you are getting. There is also nothing wrong with asking someone “Are you okay?”. Sometimes, a person just likes to know that someone else cares enough to ask them are they okay. I think we need to look outside of our own selves a little more to see how what we do affects those around us. I’m always fascinated by the why of an action rather than the actual action.

There goes another day of life in Condell Park, and I have to say it’s darn cold today. It’s about 12C, but feels like 4C due to the wind chill. Even my fingers are really sore from the cold, not to mention the arthritis in the old bones……. Hope you’ve all had a good day too

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